Amongst the multitude of customers she found me. I was doing my best to stay out of the way so I could finish putting out a trolley and ponder life’s mysteries; like the one about Patrick Swayze appearing behind you whenever you start making pottery alone.
Rowena: “Excuse me?”
Me: “Ah, hello.”
Rowena: “Where do you keep the e-books?”
Me: “Eh, they would be online, you can’t pick them up in store.”
Rowena: “So I can’t see what’s available?”
Me: “Well you can check them out on the website on the computer over there, but that’s about it.”
Rowena: “So you’re saying I can’t look at them now?”
Me: “They’re e-books, electronic texts, they have no physically form.”
Rowena: “That means no then?”
Me: “Yeah, that would be a no.”
Rowena: “How peculiar.”
She steps back into the crowd and is absorbed quickly like water is consumed by a dry sponge.
I try to find my train of thought again but get it mixed up with another one of life’s mysteries; like if Patrick Swayze falls in a forest does he make a sound?
I was sitting as still as a pervert in the bushes while I did a stint on the information desk today. A middle aged woman passed by in lime green trousers and did a double take of me sitting there. This caught my attention so I looked at her and smiled.
She smiled back at me and decided to come over to me.
Perplexed Patricia: “Haha! Oh, my god! I thought you were made of wax, like a wax dummy.”
After this remark she reached for my wrist and gave it a gentle stroke.
Me: “Ah, yeah. I was sitting quite still.”
Perplexed Patricia: “I was in the wax museum recently and was so uneasy being around the dummies; I kept waiting for one of them to jump out at me.”
Me: “Haha! It could happen. I know they do that sometimes in the wax museum in London.”
Perplexed Patricia: “It’s my biggest fear! I keep thinking anyone who sits still will turn and jump at me.”
Me: “You should keep an eye on their chest moving up and down, you know, breathing and all that.”
Perplexed Patricia: “God! I never thought of that! That’s a great idea! Thanks!”
Before she departs she stokes my wrist one last time and walks off with a smile on her face.
I’ve been called many a name but never have I been thought to be a wax dummy. Maybe the fluorescents in work give me a waxy look? # BaldManProblems