Fancy some Bald Man Art?

Hi there,

My artwork is now available for purchase. If there is anything you see that you would like drop me a line. You can follow the( link here ) to my page.

I hope you like what you see and to hear from you soon. Either way, enjoy the page.

Thanks for your time.

Much love,

Bald Man

Advertisements

I’m back on the creative wagon!

Hello, my fine followers.

I hope this post finds you well and that you are also well and the day/evening/night are treating you equally well…that’s a lot of wells…

Anyway, the reason for this post. I’ve created a Facebook page to showcase my art. If you have a spare moment and would like to check it out you can follow the link (Click Me)

Hope you like it

All the bald love.

One art please!

The air was fresh and felt good to inhale and exhale yesterday. My love slice and myself were wandering around the City Centre and decided to drop into an art gallery to view an exhibition that was going on.

We had to ring to gain access to the gallery. 
Upon entry we were greeted by a stuffy bald fellow who made no effort with us. He was one of those stuffy types who got off on licking discarded canvases. This didn’t deter us and we went on to view the art work on the ground floor.It wasn’t much to look at, a few dribbles of paint on a blank canvas. Nothing to write home to Aunty Agnus about that’s for sure.

Moving on to the first floor we found there was more life to the art work here. One artist painted on vinyls. My guess is she didn’t know how vinyls worked and thought painting on them would unleash the music. It’s a shame that the artist couldn’t unleash an emotional response from us with their work. Maybe we just didn’t get what they were trying to achieve.

As we looked further around the gallery the canvas licking fellow appeared in the doorway and just stood there and looked at us.

We gazed back.

He gazed on.

Standing there for about twenty seconds in silence we could hear the paint continue to dry on the canvas.

He shuffled his feet and jingled his keys and continued to stare.

Arthur: “I’m closing up the gallery now.”

Me: “Oh, right! Grand.”

We leave the gallery.

I know I’m bald and so was he. But I think he failed to realise that the lack of hair follicles on our head does not mean we can communicate telepathically.

OH! Maybe he didn’t know that wasn’t possible and was having a conversation with me in his head thinking I could hear him?

Hmmm…guess I’ll never know. # BaldManProblems

This will stay with me for a while

She had the look of someone who had sniffed a lemon and then took a bite out of it. Her gaze is locked on my tattoos as she places her items down on the desk.

Lily: “Oh, dear! That’s some amount of tattoos you have.”

Me: “Ah, there’s not that many. I only have twelve of them.”

Lily: “They’re so well done. Do you go to the same artist for each one?”

Me: “Oh, I do, yeah.”

Lily: “You’re like a walking work of art. If you were a painting I would hang you up on my wall.”

It’s not often someone tells you they would like to hang you on their wall. It’s still weird, but not as weird as the time a man took pictures of arms. # BaldManProblems

If you’re going to offer me advice, please refrain from swearing beforehand.

A lady from the country approached me while I was on the till. I couldn’t be certain what part of the bog she was from, but I’m sure it was fairly deep down. She was buying a book for her grandchild. I knew this because she told me a number of times.

She places the book down in front of me. She has a twinkle in her eye. It was either pixie bog dust or the early onsets of cataracts.

Lady Montgomery: “I looked through all the books and settled on this one.”

Me: “Not a bad choice, now.”

Lady Montgomery: “I’m up for day. I wanted to bring something back down for my grandchild.”

Me: “That’s decent of you.”

I finish the sale. She moves off to the side and starts looking at a stand that contains a selection of art stuff for young girls. She spots a plastic purse that contains markers.

Lady Montgomery: “Oh, this is lovely! Is it any good?”

Me: “You’d really be better off buying something else.”

Lady Montgomery: “Why is that?”

Me: “Well, the presentation is nice but the contents are pretty dismal.”

Lady Montgomery: “You’re not a very good salesman.”

Me: “I’m honest. I’m not going to try and sell something to someone knowing that it’s not good quality.”

Lady Montgomery: “Oh, I’d like to have an honest man like you to go shopping with me.”

Me: “Ha, yeah…I’ll have to pass for the moment.”

She leaves quite happy with herself.

Not long after her I get a phone call from a fairly angry man.

Pragmatic Paddy: “Hello, I’m looking to see if you stock a book.”

Me: “Sure, what are looking for?”

He gives me the title.
I check it out for him.

Me: “No, sorry we don’t have it. If you come in we could order it for you.”

Pragmatic Paddy: “Feck sake! This is all because I left my book on the train; then some git came along and took it! I hope the bastards hand’s fall off.”

Me: “Ha, ha! That’s a bit harsh, now.”

Pragmatic Paddy: “It kind of was. Right, I’ll leave you with some advice: don’t trust anyone!”

Me: “I’ll try to remember that.”

It was nice of the bog one to think I was an honest man. I just don’t know whether I should feel flattered or put off about the bog woman wanting me as a shopping buddy. As for the gentleman on the phone…well, I generally only take advice off people who don’t wish ill-will towards others. He had so much promise, but he made an arse of it all when he went off on his rant. #BaldManProblems.