It’s not my problem

So I just saw a man drinking a can whilst peeing at a urinal. This has to be counter productive.

I know it’s not my problem. I just wish I could have informed him that he may as well have waited until he finished his can before emptying his bladder. # BaldManProblems


You uncultured swine!

There’s a stillness in the air as I go to the bathroom to have my first wee of the day. As I stand there emptying my bladder I start giggling to myself because of joke that has just popped into my head. I’m still laughing when I return to sitting room. I feel like Sarah should know about it.

Me: “Hey, Sarah!”

She doesn’t hear me because she’s engrossed in a TV show that has teenagers being portrayed by actors who are well into their twenties.

Me: “SARAH!”

Sarah: “What is it?”

Me: “Wanna hear a joke?”

Sarah: “Eh, OK.”

Me: “What is Simon and Garfunkel’s favourite things to buy in the shop?”

Sarah: “I don’t know.”

Me: Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme!”

Sarah: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “Come on!”

This isn’t the first time that the punchline has gone over her head. # BaldManProblems

You can’t be doing that!

I was sitting down in the library and needed to check my timetable that I kept in my pocket. Now, rather than standing up to take it out I just sat there with my left hand deep in my pocket making aggravated groans as I rummaged around and tried to reach it. To the people around me I must have looked like I was trying educate my trouser snake in the library but I was really just searching for my timetable.

I think next time I’ll have to stand up to avoid suspicion. And I thought college was all about accepting the differences of others. # BaldManProblems.

It can’t be. That’s impossible!

I can’t prove it yet but I’m convinced one of my lecturer’s is a Sith Lord. Yesterday, in front of a gathering of students in one of the theatres he said, and I quote: “You’ll grow to hate me but that’s OK because hate makes me stronger.”

Looks like getting a degree has become more treacherous than I had previously imagined. # BaldManProblems